Life Lessons From Memaw
Here in the Midwest, the fall season is here. There are changes in the colors of the leaves, it is cooler days, football has started, and seniors in high school are freaking out about college applications…
Huh?
If you have high school children or are surrounded by high schooler students all day, then you know what I am talking about. These young adults are working, tirelessly, on trying to figure out their future. It’s not easy and if you are not around these young adults, then you have no idea the hell they are going through right now. For me, I am surrounded by all this chaos. I feel so bad for them but today’s blog is not about them–it is advice for the parents/guardians that have to live with this chaos.
My daughter just finished her junior year of high school. After years of telling her, hounding her, and pressuring her to do her homework, study for tests, get good grades--she is finally seeing WHY all of this is important. College.
That little word brings up so many feelings--happiness, anxiety, fear, worry, excitement. I’m sure it brings up some feelings for my daughter too:) When she was young, my goal as a parent was to keep her safe. My goal for my teenager--get her into college! I just had another daughter finish, successfully I might add, with a college degree. She doesn’t have a job yet, but that is for another time….
The journey that these young adults have to travel to their future is bumpy, curvy, and filled with road blocks but there are some tips and tricks to help you and your child navigate this road. We will break it all down, one at a time, one blog at a time.
First thing first….Does your child WANT to go to college?
I ask this because this is an important question. I know YOU want them to go to college, but do they? Yes, they do need to do something after high school in terms of an education. Research shows that people who have some type of degree or certification after high school will make around $1,000,000 more in their lifetime than someone who only has a high school degree. That makes sense. After high school, the job market is very limited because the education and skills are limited in that person. Get a degree, certification, or endorsement--now you have a specific set of skills and education for that career you want to go into.
Notice that I say degree, certification, or endorsement. I didn’t just say degree. Yes, in order to get an associate’s or bachelor’s degree, you must go to college. For an associate’s degree, you go to college for about 2 years in a specific program. For a bachelor’s degree, it is around 4 years. For a master’s degree, it is around 6 years, and for a doctorate, it is 8+ years of college. Many students follow these paths. They decide (sometimes with pressure from parents) to go to college and get a degree. And for most of these students, this road is a good choice for them. But it is not for everyone.
Some students are not ready or want to go to college. Or financially, it is just not possible yet. Should they stick with their high school diploma only? Absolutely not. There are many, many schools who offer programs in which a student can go to classes for as little as 10 weeks and have an endorsement in some type of job career--cosmetology, plumbing, electrical, automotive, technology, computer programming, etc. The great thing about these career choices is that all their schooling is in a short amount of time, much cheaper than college, and they still can get a very good paying job/career.
Some parents think this is not a good option because it is not college. This is totally wrong. Some students are just not met to do the college route and if they are forced, will probably drop out after one or two years, owing a lot on their student loans for no degree. Chances of these same students going back to college after taking a year off (called a gap year) are very slim. Wouldn’t it be better for these same students to go for a few weeks, get their certification, and get a good paying job or career that they enjoy? And, if they chose later on to go get a different certification or actually continue in college to get a degree, the advantages are endless: they aren’t financially in the hole for owing so much money for the college degree, they can still work in their good paying job with their certificate while they go to college (and help pay that amount down), and because they waited until they wanted to go, they might do a better job in college now at the age of 25 or 30, then if they went when they were 18 and not ready.
Now you see why this is an important question. If you haven’t already, you need to have a serious, sit-down, no-judgment talk with your teen. No need to wait until they are a senior in high school. Do it as soon as possible. Do they want to go to college? If so, why?? If not, then what do they have in their mind as what to do instead? I just saw this type of conversation between a student and his father. When asked, he told his father he didn’t want to go to college. This didn’t surprise me because this student really struggled in school, despite being very bright. Dad was taken back but recovered enough to ask, without judgment, what did he want to do instead. The student answered that he wanted to go to real estate school and get his license to sell homes. He had done the research and told his father all the steps that are needed to get this license. His father was impressed and a little proud–after all, the dad was very successful in his career (sales) and he felt that his son was following in his footsteps.
Talk to your child. You might also be impressed and a little proud of them. Just let them know that no matter what, you love them and will help them with the future they want. After all…
“The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create.” Leonard Sweet
Do you think college is the answer for all students? Tell me why or why not in the comments.
