Life Lessons From Memaw
Weight Watchers has been around for a long time. In fact, my memaw attended meetings back in the 80’s. She was born with a bad heart and knew that the extra weight was not good for her. She was successful and lost about 20 pounds.
Several years ago, I was on a losing weight kick. At that time, I was emailing my sister-in-law and explaining to her all the challenges I was facing, trying to lose the weight. One day, she suggested that maybe I needed support coming from a group of people that were trying to lose weight. She suggested Weight Watchers. Boy, that sounded like a great idea and I joined that following Saturday. From the first day, I really enjoyed going to WW. I was in an environment of support and nonjudgement, even when I had to weigh in every week. WW was under the philosophy of positivity. They would announce to you how much you had lost but never said “Ok, only 15 pounds to go!”. They concentrated on what you accomplished, not what you still needed to do. That was all very comforting and seemed to set you up for success. Sometimes, you went in and you may have gained some weight. Again, no judgement. They would say things like “You are up a tad. No worries. Reflect on what your week was like and if you could do any tweaks.”
Every meeting, I would sit in my chair and listen to the stories that people told about their successes and their struggles. Each meeting was led by a leader who had also done the WW program. As I was facing the leader every week, there was a plaque on the wall behind the leader. It said “It’s Not Failure; It’s Feedback”.
I’m not here to advertise for WW or to show what it did for me. However, I will always remember that plaque on the wall. I have reflected on it many times and I have even said that phrase out loud. “It’s not failure; it’s feedback”. Somehow, saying those words, reminds me that I’m not a failure because that is how I take it. When I say those words, it is very true. I need to take that experience and learn from it. And to keep trying. No matter what–don’t give up. THAT is the ultimate failure.
So, how are your resolutions going? Did you turn them into SMART goals? What has been the result so far?
Hopefully you are not like most people and have given up on your goals. Even if you followed the advice on the two blogs about how to turn resolutions into SMART goals for greater success, there are no guarantees. What if you didn’t reach your goal? What happens now?
If you make your goal into a SMART goal and practice those four things we have talked about in previous blogs (finding your ultimate why, putting your goal into small steps, plan ahead using grit for those potholes, and establishing a routine), chances of you reaching your goals are very high. But we all don’t reach all of our goals. What a failure!!
Really? A failure? Oh please!! You took the time to go from a vague resolution to a SMART goal. You went through the visualization and exercise to find your true, specific, selfish why you want this goal. You took the time, the effort, the energy to plan ahead, anticipating the bumps, let go of perfection and dig deep into your resilience. You established a routine to make things easier. I don’t know about you but that sounds like major success to me. Can you imagine living your life like this? What a sense of accomplishment! “Yeah,” you say, “but I only lost 3 pounds and it took me 6 weeks to do it!” I say, good for you! You are 3 pounds lighter, aren’t you? What if you lost 3 pounds every 6 weeks? Where would you be in one year? Maybe 20-25 pounds lighter? Hmmm…
Pivoting, adapting, adjusting–these things help you with your goals. It doesn’t mean you failed. It means you are learning about yourself and you adjust accordingly.
Let’s look at two specific ways to help you achieve your goals. Making the goal is 50% of your journey; now let’s achieve them.
When you start your goal doesn’t matter!
What if you didn’t start your goal on New Year’s? Is it too late? What if you started your goal but have already given up? Whether you started your goal on NYE or not doesn’t matter. You can start your goal anytime. It doesn’t have to be the beginning of the week, month, or year. It doesn’t even have to be the beginning of the day! Just start. I ate a big breakfast and lunch, but I want to lose weight. This afternoon I made my smart goal, so for dinner I am eating more veggies and protein, and less junk. Maybe no dessert tonight. Ok, so you started your goal at 6:00 pm tonight. Great!! At least you started your goal. There is never a perfect time to start a goal–just do it!!
What if you started your goal on NYE, but it is February and you have already quit your goal? No worries!! Here are two things to do.
First, reflect on your goal and why you quit (feedback). What happened? Why did you quit? “I quit going to the gym!” Ok, why? Was mornings too difficult for you to make it work? Was the gym too busy? Did you find that driving back and forth to the gym was taking up too much of your time? You know what? It is not failure–it is feedback! So quit the gym and adapt. Maybe walking one hour after dinner works better for you. Maybe joining the Park District basketball team sounds like more fun than the gym. Or maybe you need more inspiration and decide to train for a 5K. Reflect what happened and adjust your goal.
Second, now that you made that adjustment, TRY AGAIN. Make a new goal about working out and try it. Give it a good try–a timeline. “I will walk every night after dinner for two weeks. Then I will reevaluate and adjust as needed.” And do just that. After two weeks, is this working for you? Do you need to adjust? Maybe after 2-3 weeks, you may want to add to your goal. “I see there is a spring Zumba class starting at the park district. I will sign up for that and add it to my daily walking.” Make the adjustments and keep trying!!
Always start very small!
Always start small. Maybe your goal was too big. “I will stop drinking soda totally.” That goal was not attainable and you quit after the 3rd day. Ok, start smaller. “I really want to stop drinking soda but it was too hard.” Set yourself up for success. Maybe you start with drinking only 12 ounces of soda per day for 2 weeks. Then evaluate. Did that work for you? If so, adjust. Now only drink 8 ounces per day for 2 weeks. Evaluate. Adjust. Maybe 8 ounces every other day for 2 weeks. Evaluate. Adjust. Keep repeating this and maybe within a year, you are not drinking soda at all.
I know that a year sounds like a long time but it isn’t. We are just so conditioned for everything to happen instantly. Our waiting and our patience is not good. I blame this on Amazon!! But think of it this way. What if you are sitting and reading, as you are now, and it is next year? And you are no longer drinking soda or you are 20 pounds lighter? How would you feel? Now think if you are sitting and reading, as you are now, and it is next year and you are still drinking soda or are 20 pounds overweight. How do you feel NOW?
Goals are good because we always want to be better. Sometimes, we achieve them. Sometimes we don’t. You’ve been given some tools to make those goals achievable. But if you don’t reach your goal, look at all you have learned about yourself. Look at all the little successes you had along the way. Here are the three secrets to achieving your goals:
Evaluate.
Adjust.
Keep trying.
If you do these three things with your goals, obtain that feedback instead of stewing in your “failure”, adjust in keeping your goal alive and something you can live with, and never give up (the ultimate failure), you will have success in your life and learn some valuable lessons about yourself. You have nothing to lose!
