Life Lessons From Memaw
Surviving Parent/Teacher Conferences
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My Memaw always had a great deal of respect for teachers. I think I wanted to be a teacher because Memaw talked about how important they were in our lives. She had a friend who was a teacher and they would sit around the kitchen table and talk about different aspects of teaching.
It is the season for parent/teacher conferences, so using the same “kitchen table” concept, here is a story of Memaw and her friends talking about how to make conferences meaningful to all–students, parents, and teachers.
I can’t stay long for lunch,” explained Dallas one day with the girls. “I have parent/teacher conferences at 2:00 and I need to get ready.”
“Thank God I never had to go to those.” exclaimed Beverly. “They sound absolutely dreadful. Just one more thing to be thankful for about not having children!”
“Yes, they can be awful. But they also can be really good if parents remember to look at things from a teacher’s perspective every once in a while.” said Reba.
“What do you mean Reba?” asked Dallas. “You are both a teacher and a parent. What are some things I need to know?”
“Ok, I’ll put it into my Top 10 List….
Most teachers do enjoy this time to see you, gain more insight on your child, and communicate to you how he/she is doing. Please don't think you are bothering or inconveniencing us. We like to see you.
For the younger grades, like elementary, I encourage all parents to go to P/T conferences. Your child is getting their first impressions of school and when you show an interest and make it a priority, your child will too. Children need a good foundation and they need to like school. They will enjoy it more if there are successes. For there to be success, you and the teacher need to work together. P/T conferences can help with that.
Come to conferences in two ways--be open to hearing the comments of the teacher and ask questions. The teacher will have a lot to say about your child from a different point of view. Listen. But also ask questions. We like to hear from parents, answering all the questions we can. We want to be on the same page as the parents. We really want your child to be successful.
If there are bigger issues then can be handled in the 5-10 minutes you are allotted, email the teacher ahead of time. This is a great form of communication for teachers. Phone calls work too. Discuss the issue together and come up with a game plan to implement. At the PTC, discuss the results and changes that need to be made from that game plan.
Accept the praise for your child. It is directed at you too--you raised them. We know the child is a product of their parents.
Accept the challenges your child may have. Ask for the teacher’s input and try to resolve these challenges at school and at home. The school is not an island unto itself--we need help from home too.
High school children are different than elementary. You will be seeing many different teachers in many different subjects. No, you do NOT need to see ALL of his/her teachers. How do you decide which teachers to see? First, ask your child who they want you to see. Second, see those teachers your child is struggling in their classes. Again, you only have 5-10 minutes, so it may be an email beforehand is in order. Finally, pick one teacher that the child loves. It is nice to hear great things about your child from your child's favorite teacher.
Be flexible. If we are running behind schedule, it is usually because a parent has kept us too long. We are trying to stay on time but it can be difficult to get a parent to leave. Please don’t be mad at us.
At the same token, please don’t be the parent that gets us behind schedule. If we run out of time, email or call us with additional information. We will be very glad to talk to you.
99.99% of my conferences are great--even if the student is struggling academically or behaviorally. Parents who come to conferences want their child to do well and listen to what I have to say. I tell them all the things their child is doing well at first, then we discuss any issues. These parents also give me insight to their child that helps me understand them better. It makes the conference very productive.
The parent-teacher-student relationship is unique and fascinating. We all have the same goal--for the child to succeed. We all want the child to do the best that they can, enjoy the process, and celebrate successes. If we keep this goal in mind, parent/teacher conferences can be very successful!
Did you ever have a great experience during conferences (either from a parent or a teacher point of view)? Did you ever have a bad experience? Tell me about those experiences in the comments below.
