"I swear sometimes that man is out to get me"
Gloria Steinem died a few weeks ago at the age of 92. People my age knew who she was and her importance to history. Younger generations may have “heard” of her but have no idea the historical context. This is good, in a way, because we have grown in history to the point that it is hard to remember what it used to be like before her.
Very simply, Ms. Steinem started the feminist movement in the 1960s and 1970s. She continued her work, through writing and hosting conversations, until she died. She even portrayed herself in the Sex and the City series “And Just Like That” with Sarah Jessica Parker (she is in the red coat). She contributed many important things in history, especially to women in particular. She was a feminist and a pioneer for what was later called the “#MeTooMovement”.
I was at a dinner with a few of my friends after Ms. Steinem had died and we were talking about feminism. One of my girlfriends declared “I am NOT a feminist!” I was struck by how vehemently she said that statement, so I asked her why she felt so strongly about feminism. She proceeded to tell me “I happen to like wearing my bra! I also like men and being married. And I love my children!”
I was in awe, and not in a good way. None of those things had anything to do with feminism. However, in hindsight, I started thinking about how many people feel the same way as my friend. It’s not like I haven’t heard someone deny they were a feminist but, before now, I guess I never wondered why they felt that way. Just like in all avenues of life, some people are this way, some are that. Some believe in this, some in that. It is just how it is. I really don’t care if people consider themselves “feminist” or not. But I do care if their reasons are not true–they are myths.
So here are the facts of what feminism is not, what it actually is, and how did Ms. Steinem contributed to all of this.
“I happen to like wearing my bra!”
Well, good for you! You are probably the only one in the world who actually likes wearing a bra, but I digress…
Back in the 1960s and 70s, people thought that in order to be a feminist, you had to “burn your bra.” This meant you had to show your independence from men by not wearing a bra ( the bra, in fact, was invented by a man) and go further by burning it! In actuality, this was a myth. Women did throw their bras into a garbage can as a protest but never burned them. In fact, the protest had to do more with comfort than with “going against the man”. Currently, even men can relate to this, especially during the COVID pandemic when they could walk into their own home and take off their masks. There is measurable relief in taking off your mask or your bra after a long day!
“I like men and being married.”
Good! One of the accomplishments of the feminist movement is that you get to choose who you love and who you marry. Ms. Steinem was not against men or marriage. In fact, she was married herself. What she was against was sex discrimination in the workplace. All men were doctors and all women were nurses? Men worked and women stayed home to keep the house? Thankfully, we don’t believe this anymore. Why? Because of the feminist movement. It said we get to choose if we work and in what capacity. Or we can choose to stay home–both women and men.
“I love my children!”
As you should!! Who would ever tell you NOT to love your children? But what the feminist movement did say was that you can choose to have children or not. It believed in reproductive rights. Your body, your choice. However, even now our basic right to birth control is being threatened in our current political movement. Talk about going back in time…60+ years!!
So, what is feminism? A feminist is anyone, male, female, non binary, who believes in the following statements:
I believe in equal rights for everyone. No matter your sex, your age, your abilities, your religion, your race—you have basic rights in America.
I believe in equal pay. Again, no matter what, everyone should be paid based on their abilities, not based on their gender.
I believe in reproductive rights. Women have the final say in their bodies–not white, middle aged, Christian men in politics.
I believe in not adhering to gender roles in children. Boys and girls can play in any sport they choose. Boys and girls can play with any toys they choose. There are no “boy” toys and no “girl” toys.
I believe in the ERA—Equal Rights Amendment. This amendment proposes that there is to be no sex discrimination. It prohibits it. The amendment was written in 1923. It is still not ratified—that means it is not part of our constitution 100 years later.
I believe in equal access to education—no matter your gender, race, or age.
If you believe in these statements, then you are a feminist. Gloria Steinem started this movement with other women. She unified different groups of women (white, black, domestic workers) to start the feminist movement. She felt diversity created unity. She created shelters for women of domestic abuse. She started MS Magazine for women to feel they weren’t alone in their struggle with equality. She started all of this and continued with the work until her death just a few weeks ago.
Should you be ashamed of being a feminist? I hope not. Feminism means equality for everyone. Feminism means choice for everyone. Feminism means no discrimination for everyone.
Now you know the truth about feminism. If someone says they are not a feminist, ask them the “I believe” statements. If they answer yes to any or all of them, explain to them that is what feminism is.
You never have to call yourself a feminist. But look how far we have come in our equal rights? Even 40 years ago, women were treated unfairly. Let’s let Dolly tell you a little story….
Tumble outta bed
And I stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
And yawn and stretch and try to come to life
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin'
Out on the streets
The traffic starts jumpin'
With folks like me on the job from 9 to 5
Working 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by
It's all takin' and no givin'
They just use your mind
And they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it
9 to 5, for service and devotion
You would think that I
Would deserve a fair promotion
Want to move ahead
But the boss won't seem to let me
I swear sometimes that man is out to get me
Mmm
They let you dream
Just a' watch 'em shatter
You're just a step
On the boss man's ladder
But you got dreams he'll never take away
In the same boat
With a lot of your friends
Waitin' for the day
Your ship'll come in
And the tide's gonna turn
And it's all gonna roll you away
9 to 5, yeah, yes, they got you where they want you
There's a better life
And you think about it, don't you?
It's a rich man's game
No matter what they call it
And you spend your life
Putting money in his wallet
Blog Website: https://www.lifelessonsfrommemaw.com/
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