If You Are Happy And You Know It.....Clap Your Hands

Sep 17, 2024

4 min read

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In every generation, parents have been telling their children "All I want is for you to be happy." So, in theory, that means parents are saying...

"We don't care what career you decide..."

"We don't care who you marry or decide not to marry..."

"We don't care where you live or how you decide to live..."

Well, in theory--maybe. But most parents put an asterisk by each of those statements because they DO care about those scenarios. Sorry people--this is probably one of the first lies we tell our kids--along with Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

However, we all want to be happy--to have happiness in our lives. But how do we do that? This is the BIG ASK but let me tell you a story about one way to be happy.

Last week, my four friends meet for breakfast. Dallas is sitting at the table, quietly drinking her coffee.

“Are you ok Dallas? You seem awfully quiet today.” says Beverly.

“I guess I am tired. It seems I am tired all the time. I feel like I don’t do anything but wake up, get the kids ready for school, go to work, come home exhausted, do homework with the children, make dinner, baths, bedtime routine, then everyone (even me) all go to bed. I wake up the next morning and start all over. Don’t get me wrong--I love my children and spending time with them. Work is fine. But am I happy? I just don’t know. All I know is that I am tired.”

“I know what you mean, Dallas. There are days that I feel are Groundhog’s Day--like the movie with Bill Murray. Same thing, day after day, after day.”

“What do you do to break the cycle, Reba? Do you know if you are happy?”

“I actually took a workshop a few years ago about positive or happy psychology. It was really informative. You would think as adults we would know how to make ourselves happy or know when we are happy. Hell, we can’t even define what happiness is. This workshop taught me three things that are needed for you to be happy. No, it did not say money or a husband, or even a pet. These things can enhance your happiness but the workshop said it is these three things--be positive, doing things for others, and doing something EVERY DAY that brings you joy or pleasure.”

“That sounds like a lot of things when you are short of time every day”, said Laney. “I probably have more time than most of you and I don’t know if I could do that every day”

“Actually”, replied Reba “It really isn’t that many things. For example, let’s just talk about the last one. You need to do something that makes you smile; that makes you feel good. And you need to do this everyday. It doesn’t have to be all day, or several hours, or even for a full hour. It can be as little as a few minutes. Whatever you can do to feel good inside.”

“This makes sense,” exclaimed Beverly. “I love to read but I always think I need a huge chunk of time to read but really, I don’t. I can read a few pages in a magazine while I eat breakfast, or take 20 minutes and read a chapter or two in my novel. Reading even for only 20 minutes makes me feel like I did something for myself and it makes me feel good. Reba, what do you do?”

“Well, this is going to sound silly but I work for the city, so I will get a pension when I retire. Sometimes, I like to go online, look at my pension, and calculate exactly how many more years I have to work in order to retire. Knowing that the number is getting smaller and smaller makes me happy. And I like to do this on days where work is really bad! Laney--what about you? Do you do things that make you happy?”

“I do but I don’t think I do something every day. I need to step it up in that area. I like to have a glass of wine before I go to bed. With that wine, I like to scroll through my phone with Tiktok or Instagram. I don’t do this everyday but it is something I like to do. I also like to read, call my mom, and paint my nails. I need to do more of these things each day. They don’t take long but they make me feel good.”

“I like doing jigsaw puzzles," Beverly chimed in. "I like putting the pieces together to show the picture. Some of my puzzles are 500 pieces, so I can’t do a whole puzzle in one night. But I bought a special table and mat, so the puzzle is always up. Then I might take a few minutes and put a few pieces together. Sometimes I have to put a timer on because I know that I can get lost in the puzzle and I have something to do later."

“You all have given me great ideas. I agree--I need to bring personal pleasure and joy in my life every day. That will make me feel good and break up the cycle. I do think part of the problem is that I don’t feel like I am doing anything for me and this is exactly the solution.”

Reba agreed. “However, I also think you need to write down a list of things you enjoy so that when you are stuck, you can pick something off the list. Also, when you do something and you love doing it, you can add it to the list. Let’s make a general list to start.”

Everyone agreed….