Mailbag About Upcoming Parent/Teacher Conferences
Dear Memaw,
I have two sons–one in elementary school and one in middle school. My oldest son always did well in school, so I rarely attended parent/teacher conferences because I didn’t see the need. However, my youngest is struggling in school. I don’t want to go to the P/T conferences for him because I’m afraid of what the teacher will say. What should I do?
Single Parent in Kansas
Dear Single Parent,
I totally understand your feelings about parent/teacher conferences. Teachers do see many parents who are apprehensive about attending the conferences. It could be because they fear the teacher will blame them for a student’s weaknesses. Maybe they had a horrible experience with education and don’t want to go into a school building. Sometimes there is a language barrier between the family and the teacher.
Sometimes teachers see parents who are eager to come to the conferences because either their child is doing well and they want to hear all about it or their child isn’t doing well and wants to blame the teacher.
As teachers, we have seen it all. First, I encourage you to attend the conferences, no matter what, especially if the child is young. Conferences are a great time for parents and teachers to team together to create a positive school experience for your child. It doesn’t matter if your child is doing well, struggling, or you have a fear of going to the conference. Please attend.
At the conference, the teacher will tell you many wonderful things about your child. All children have positive attributes and the teacher will point them out to you. As a parent, it is a great thing to hear that someone else thinks your child is great too. If there are some weaknesses, the teacher will also talk about them–not to blame you or make the child feel bad. It is because they need to be addressed and you and the teacher need to create a plan to help your child. That is the purpose of the conference–to team up together to help your child if they need it.
Conferences are also a great way for teachers to learn more about your child from you. If you feel there are things the teacher needs to know about your child, please tell them. Yes, it is confidential and the teacher will not discuss your child with others unless it is necessary. Also, when you come to conferences, come with an open mind. Take the praises (because you deserve them too) but also be open if the teachers offer suggestions. Again, this is for the good of your child.
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Dear Memaw,
I am a second year teacher. Last year was my first year doing parent/teacher conferences. They mostly went really well but I did have some issues. First, our conferences are 10 minutes long and are scheduled back to back. If one parent is late, then it makes all the other parents’ schedules late. Or if a parent wants to talk longer, it throws off the schedule too. How can I stay on schedule without upsetting parents?
Still A New Teacher
Dear New Teacher,
These issues you are having are very common. Parents do not mean to disrupt your schedule. Sometimes, the parking lot is so full they can’t find a place to park, or work ran over on the one day they needed to leave early!! Don’t take it personally. Off schedule happens to new teachers and veterans.
How to get back on schedule requires some diplomacy on your part. First, try very hard to keep the schedule. Other parents should not be punished because of a few parents. If a parent shows up late, greet them and express your understanding of why they are late. Start the conference immediately and end on time. Explain in a few short sentences that you need to stay on schedule. Give them your work phone number and email (or better yet have some business cards with that information on them) and tell them to call or email and you can reschedule for a longer time if needed. They may want to stay but you gave them a solution so they can reschedule if they wish. Some parents may just email with anything else they wanted to stay. Some may feel they had enough time. Some may reschedule for an after school conference.
If the conference is not long enough for other parents, give them the same options. Give them your business card and tell them to contact you and you can reschedule for more time. This way parents are not feeling like they are getting the brush off but you are also respecting the other parents and their time.
Will all parents be happy with this? No, probably not. But most of the parents will understand. If there are any that are not happy, I’m not sure there would have been anything you could have done to make them happy anyway.
Blog Website: https://www.lifelessonsfrommemaw.com/
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