"You know, in case you were wondering - the person whose calls you always take? That's the relationship you're in. I hope you two are very happy together."

I have said this many times.  My Memaw was innately smart.  Most people didn’t realize it when they met her.  She was kind, gentle, and what people called a “bubble head”.  If you have ever seen All In The Family, Memaw was Edith Bunker.  Because she portrayed this senseless, non-educated, but extremely nice woman, people underestimated her.  I did too–and I lived with her!  It wasn’t until years later I started realizing just how smart she really was…and I started writing this blog, highlighting how brilliant her life lessons were that I learned.

Memaw knew how important rest was.  She had a heart condition that she was born with and would die from.  She could work hard for a little while but then would have to rest.  She knew how significant rest was for her physical condition and kept it as part of her routine.  She didn’t feel guilty about it and really didn’t care what other people thought.  She knew what she had to do to live.

Most of us don’t have that physical issue.  Our bodies have some wear and some dents, but are overall in good shape.  Over the weekend, I was with my many nieces and nephews.  It was grand to see these young, healthy, full of energy and positivity adults, discussing all their many wonderful adventures with life so far.  Their careers, their relationships, their thrill with life—being around young people makes you feel young too!

However, these young people don’t have an easy life.  Their careers consist of educators, doctors, social work, working in customer service, sales, technology, music, finance, medical field, and working with children.  They are in different areas of their relationships–some are single, some are at the beginning, some are getting married, some are married and are having children.  

As I look around at these younguns, and even at the “elders”, as we aunts and uncles are called, I wonder “Do they have balance in their lives?”

We live in a society that values busyness.  The more things you do, the more things you have scheduled, the more directions you are pulled in, the better.  My millennials and Gen Z kids are in a world where their high pressure career is part of their identity.  It is their badge of honor.  Work is valued and it is how we prove our worth.

Rest, on the other hand, is viewed as laziness.  It is treated as pointless; just negative space between jobs.  We almost feel the pressure to fill that void with something.  If you are not working, then what are you doing?  What is your purpose?  If we are not working, then we almost feel….bored!

We also live in a society in which most employers will say one of the qualities they look for most in potential job candidates is creativity.  This is even more true as A.I. starts taking over jobs.  However, this is one of the things that is stifled immediately once the child enters formal education–i.e. school.  Education teaches children to find the only correct answer, to follow specific directions, and no deviations.  Classes that encourage creativity are usually the first ones cut for budget purposes—art, music, fashion, choir, band.  Then, as adults in your career field, there is no time for creativity.  You spend most of your day answering emails, putting out fires, trying to satisfy customers, increase the bottom line for the company.  You have no time to invest in thinking, creating, researching.  What a huge conundrum in our lives!!  And you wonder why people get burned out?

This is where rest comes in.  No, I’m not talking about naps and sleep, although those are very important too.  I’m talking about taking breaks, having downtime, idleness, being bored.  Many studies show that these times are when you get recharged, stimulates our creativity, allows us to cultivate new insights.  I’m talking about taking rest breaks at work, along with at home.  You can’t work 8-10 straight hours.  You become drained, a shell.  You need to take breaks, about every 90 minutes to 2 hours, and not answer emails or return a call.  You need to get away from your desk, take a short walk away from people so they don’t disturb you or ask you questions.  You need to let your mind wonder, see where your thoughts take you, and follow down that rabbit hole.  Leave your phone at your desk.  It’s ok, I promise:)

Rest and work are not opposites.  They are partners.  They go together to help you maximize both of them.  When you rest and take breaks, you work better.  When you work, rest becomes a priority.  How many times have you skipped lunch or worked at your desk during lunch, not taking a break?  Studies after studies show that when you take regular scheduled serious breaks from work (and I don’t mean answering emails), then when you re-engage with work, you are more productive, more creative, your mind is clearer, and sometimes solutions will come to you while you are taking that break.  I’m serious–look it up.  Medical and psychological studies conclude that breaks are needed everyday and when you take them, your job performance increases.

So, what is the moral of the story?  It is the same moral in everything we learn—we need to have balance in our lives.  Work, take meaningful breaks, play, and be social.  All of these things will make you a better employee, a better significant other, and a better person to be around.  Try it…and thank me and Memaw later:)

Blog Website: https://www.lifelessonsfrommemaw.com/  

Email: LifeLessonsFromMemaw@gmail.com