Life Lessons From Memaw
I have stated before that Memaw was a tender heart. She would cry when she was sad. She would cry when she was worried. She would cry when she was frustrated. She would cry when she was happy. I remember thinking "How can you have that much water in you?" But when I got older, I realized how easy it is to cry.
I've also talked about how all emotions are just motions. There are no "bad" emotions or "good" emotions. They are just emotions. Once we realize this, then we can experience and label our emotions more freely. This will increase our knowledge and understanding of ourselves.
Also, we don't need to pick and choose what or how to feel because we can feel it all at the same time. Rarely are we feeling just once emotion at a time. We feel many emotions, many times.
According to dialectical thinking, we really can have it all. We truly can experience every emotion--happiness, sadness, fear, anticipation, confusion and surprise--all at once!
This happened to me last Sunday. I am a Chicago Bears fan (NFL football). So is my family and my friends. The Bears usually have rough seasons but for the first time in many years, the Bears made the playoffs. We played our first playoff game against the biggest rival (and longest rival--over 100 years old)--the Green Bay Packers. This game was so important to fans for many reasons...
*It was a playoff game. If you win, you continue to another game. If you lose, you are going to Cancun for a vacation.
*It was the first time the Bears were in the playoffs in many years.
*The game was being played in Chicago.
*Again, we were playing our longest rival--Green Bay. In this rival, the Packers kick our ass. They have won more games against us than we have against them.
*Because the Packers are in our conference, this is the 3rd time we were playing them in 5 weeks. They had won one game and we had won one game.
Here is how the Bears game went (games last 60 minutes of game time)
Packers were winning 21-3 after 35 minutes of game time.
Packers were winning 21-9 after 50 minutes of game time.
Packers were winning 21-16 after 53 minutes of game time.
Packers were winning 27-16 after 55 1/2 minutes of game time.
Packers were winning 27-24 after 56 minutes of game time.
Bears were winning 31-24 after 58 minutes of game time.
Bears win 31-24 final score.
Needless to say, this was a very stressful game. Did I experience happiness, sadness, fear, anticipation, confusion, and surprise all at the same time?
You're dame right I did!!
I'm sure that I have experienced all these emotions at the same time before--in my wedding, the birth of my two daughters, even my daughter's wedding. The Bears game was just the latest incident of having a truckload of emotions simultaneously. It actually made me nervous, having all those feelings at once.
Emotions are scary, tricky, and very rarely rational. But they are OUR emotions and nobody can claim them. People cannot tell us how we feel or how we should feel. Has someone said to you "You have no right to be angry"? Or "Don't be sad!" They may mean well but this is the very definition of gas-lighting--someone tell ME what I am feeling based on how they feel. Emotions are subjective and only I can decide what I am feeling!
No, we should not tell others how they feel but we are human. I do this sometimes and I know that I shouldn't. Well, I screw up a lot so no big surprise. I try to acknowledge that I am doing it and apologize. I hate it when it is done to me, so I know that person doesn't like it either. Apologies are awesome when you mean it. It is literally saying "Boy, did I screw up! I will try to do better next time."
It means we are human and we are going to screw up. Always accept someone else's apology if they mean it, because you want the same courtesy.
Bears play the next playoff game on Sunday against the Rams. Will I experience the same emotional rollercoaster as I did last Sunday?
You're damn right I will.
Blog Website: https://www.lifelessonsfrommemaw.com/
